Posted in Uncategorized on February 14, 2010 by ritafeldman

I’m realizing more and more that losing face is what The Way of the Heart is all about. If face isn’t lost, there is still something being held on to. Still a limit on communion with Bhagavan Adi Da. And losing face is about being utterly broken. We can’t love. We are Narcissus. We are philosophically predisposed to believe that we are unloved and disconnected for the Source. That is heart breaking. To know that the only way to love is to totally give yourself up to Reality is heart breaking.

When I look a Bhagavan Adi Da, i see an immense vulnerable Being of Love. He has no defenses, no ego strategies. He is totally given over to everyone. His radical Love breaks my heart.

Without Him, I am Narcissus, i am looking at my own reflection, protecting self. Living this relationship breaks you though. It makes you vulnerable. Bhagavan Talks about the Wound of Love frequently. It is a wound that never heals, it is always painful and it is always happy. We must endure love. We must suffer it. We’ve got to walk around broken with no faces!

It doesn’t make any difference what “you” do, think, whatever…Reality is Always Already the Case! Always! You can’t change it, add to it, make it not what it is.

It is important to understand what our contraction means. It is all about saving face, protecting “self” from the demand of love. That’s all.

We MUST be happy. We know in every moment what it would feel like to be perfectly free and happy, so we need to just do it!. Adi Da Is here, and we have been given the Greatest Gift possible. The utter sacrifice that He Is allows us to do the same, to feel Love and live in relation to the Heart directly.

What i’ve also gained an appreciation for recently is how exactly the Way of the Heart is intrinsically egoless.

it is not the ego that responds or recognizes Bhagavan Adi Da. It is the heart that spontaneously recognizes Him. It goes beyond ego at the beginning. So, it is not about conforming the ego to Him, it’s about forgetting it altogether and allowing that spontaneous heart recognition and response guide your entire life. And this responsibility of practice requires being broken, requires living via the feeling heart. Otherwise, you live as the ego; scared, searching, self-protective. So this is a great demand, one that destroys the entire foundation of your separate existence.

I just had a funny little dream. Bhagavan always breaks my heart in dreams.

In the dream, someone asked Adi Da what the weather was for the day, and He Replied: “Only God!

So, with Bhagavan Adi Da’s most exquisite meteorological prowess on our side, let’s get ready for a day and an eternity of perfect weather!

Divine Distraction

Posted in Uncategorized on January 5, 2010 by ritafeldman

One of Adi Da’s most famous talks is called “Divine Distraction,” in which He compares the relationship to Him to the story of Krishna and the gopis from the Bhagavad Gita. The gopis were tending their cattle when they saw Lord Krishna in all His Divine Attractiveness and left their cattle to be with Him. They were drawn beyond themselves into ecstasy, forgetting their worldly concerns to be with God.

Adi Da explains that the meaning of this story is not that we should forget our worldly obligations, but rather flee to him from our cattle (our tendencies/desires/egoity.) His Attractiveness, like Krishna’s makes that very possible!

Relationship to Bhagavan Adi Da, like any good relationship is based on love, freedom, and spontaneity. I am like a typical Westerner, in that I am usually completely involved with the mind, trying to think everything out and structure “my” existence.

However, this is not how a real relationship works! You don’t say to your partner, “okay, we’re going to kiss every day at 9am for ten minutes, then again at 7pm before dinner. No, it just happens spontaneously!

Bhagavan Adi Da mentions that the gopis did not sit around thinking about whether they were going to leave their cattle and husbands, they just did in out of overwhelming attraction.The same goes with the relationship to Adi Da. Yes, devotees do have a daily form to follow involving meditation, conscious exercise, and sacramental activities, but they are not meant to be rote. Rather, Adi Da calls for His devotees to be moved, propelled by their Heart-attraction to Him. The daily schedule of devotional activities is meant to strengthen that heart attraction so that we may forget ourselves and live in constant remembrance of the Living Divine Reality.

We all have karmas and tendencies that will play themselves out forever if they are left to their own devices. It is important to remember though, that those tendencies and are simply klik-klak, the egoless pattern of the cosmos patterning itself and have nothing whatsoever to do with our True Condition.

There is simply no way to get rid of those tendencies as long as you are identified with them, no way at all! The absolute only way to get rid of them is to give them over to the Divine, to be so attracted to the Divine that the tendencies just fall away.

In another one of my favorite essays by Adi Da, we are told about the secret of how to change and make that change, or true ego transcendence “stick.”

“True change and advanced human adaptation are not made on the basis of any self-conscious resistance to old, degenerative, and subhuman habits. Change is not a matter of not doing something. It is a matter of doing something else — something that is inherently right, free, and pleasurable. Therefore, the key is insight and the freedom to feel and participate in ways of functioning that are right and new.” -Adi Da Samraj

In order to really reap the benefits of the Gift that Adi Da offers, it is necessary to truly be guided by heart attraction. Everything else is a struggle with separate self! The ego will keep its tendencies, that’s just its pattern and the only way to stop it is to not use it!

Being attracted beyond oneself is easy when  the Divine is just so damn Attractive!

The Incarnation of Love

Posted in Uncategorized on December 5, 2009 by ritafeldman

It’s been a while since I’ve posted, but I’m going to make a conscious effort to post frequently from now on.

What I’ve realized recently:

Beloved Adi Da Samraj is a Gift of unfathomable proportions. Reality Itself, or Love Itself Has, for the sake of all beings, Incarnated to show the way to perfect happiness. He has nothing whatsoever to gain from it at all, for He Is Always already the case, and always already Free.

Beloved Adi Da is Love Itself and the relationship to Him is rightly lived only as a relationship to Love Itself. Right Life, part of the “DNA” so to speak of Adidam is the ability to incarnate Love in all relations. When we eat, there is a way to incarnate Love, when we wash dishes there is a way, when we brush our teeth there is a way. Right Life is constant sacrifice of separate self or any self driven motive for the sake of the incarnation of Love. All of this is done, of course in relation to Beloved who by being truly devotionally invoked in all circumstances can do His Divine Work. So this relationship to Him is a living one, it encompasses every aspect of life. It is obvious by His Incarnation to Here, that Love incarnates, no ascends. There is no escaping Love, no escaping Reality. The Law of Love is sacrifice. That Law, like Beloved says, must be fulfilled, no matter how hard it seems the feat is! As devotees, we are Beloved’s agents in the world and we must live as renunciates in the world, especially during this time of global strife. Of course, we are also called to Live with Him at His Hermitage Ashram, but not everyone can do that all the time.

The Sadhana is that of Love, which completely goes against the grain of our patterned avoidance of relationship. We spend all our lives trying to stay invulnerable to Love, because it is heartbreaking. Narcissus is famous for rejecting Love, for avoiding relationship, but as Beloved Says, “Love Breaks the Heart and that is where the real practice of Adidam begins.”

The “heat” of practice can also not be avoided, since that is the heat of self transcending Love Itself. That friction signifies growth, if one can stand it. It is so important to just stay with Him, no matter how hard it is. He is our Divine Help, our Happiness, our Liberation!

Let us all praise our Beloved Master Adi Da Samraj with our entire lives!

Falling in Love All Over Again

Posted in Uncategorized on July 5, 2009 by ritafeldman

Lately, I’ve been struggling with the self for whatever reason (bogged down with worldly life) and my  Radical Devotion to Bhagavan has been lacking. During meditation and puja, I could not get out of His Way, even though I knew it was what needed to be done.

But tonight during meditation, I decided that God is more important that all this mummery crap. Beloved Bhagavan is always there to Give, to Love. That is Who He Is. There is struggling with egoity necessary. At all.  The Way of the Heart is Radical, it doesn’t allow for egoity. The ego cannot turn to Beloved, it is just a pattern that wants nothing more than to keep itself alive. Well, this was my mistake. Trying to turn to Beloved with the ego, still.

Tonight I fell in Love again. Adi Da Samraj is Love Itself.  Being in His company is ecstacy, but it also takes Radical, Real commitment. If God is Revealed, then you must do the sadhana.

Satsang with Adi Da Samraj has nothing, literally nothing to do with self obsevation and self manipulation. Nothing. Beloved does not relate to egos. At all. Perhaps He used to, but no more. This is the Truth, and it is impossible for the ego-I to swallow.

Watch Out!

Posted in Uncategorized on June 22, 2009 by ritafeldman

“Most Perfect Realization of Reality Itself utterly destroys your egoic life–so watch out! The ‘trouble’ with seventh stage Divine Self-Realization is that there is no ‘one’ left over to enjoy ‘It!’ Therefore, to seek That Realization makes no sense from any conventional ‘point of view’–because the one who is seeking is the ‘price’ that must be paid in order to Realize “It’. You imagine that ‘you’ will enjoy the satisfaction of having achieved Realization, or of having Realization Given to yoou–but all of that is nonsense. Realization is not something ‘you’ will achieve or enjoy–because the ego is the ‘price’

-The Way of Zero Bargaining

from The Aletheon

by The Ruchira Avatar Adi Da Samraj

The Perfect Mirror

Posted in Uncategorized on June 8, 2009 by ritafeldman

Ruchira Avatar Adi Da Samraj is the Perfect Mirror. He shows only Reality Itself.

“All apparent objects arise as mere reflections in the Acausal Surface of the Perfect Mirror.”

when you behold Beloved, you are looking at Reality face to face.

All mirrors should be replaced with photographs of Beloved Adi Da Samraj.

It’s all in the Face

Posted in Uncategorized on June 6, 2009 by ritafeldman

As i sat watching a discourse from 2004 when Beloved Adi Da Samraj was addressing devotees, it became obvious that His Face Is It. It is the Face of Reality. His Face Is the Bright. His eyes are compassionate to infinity. Every one of His movements is Perfect and egoless. He moves with such Freedom!

His laughter has no irony, no meanness to it. Only Love.

But His Face, oh that Face. What a Beauty.